The Wrong Character

Popular movies summarized by the wrong character.

Beauty and the Beast

Gaston seems to have it all - he’s strong and handsome, with a wonderful baritone singing voice that attracts a throng of hopeful female admirers everywhere he goes. He’s the village’s best hunter and the most popular guy around. But lately, he’s beginning to realize there’s something missing in his life - a family.

Enter Belle, the village’s haughty intellectual and the only girl in a hundred miles seemingly impervious to Gaston’s charm. His sure-footed confidence comes off as bumbling oafishness to her, and her uncommonly high education intimidates him. The two couldn’t be more incompatible, but there’s a spark to their banter that neither can deny.

But now, Belle’s been kidnapped by a hideous beast, who intends to keep her locked away in a secret castle deep in the forbidden woods until her spirit breaks and she agrees to marry him. It’s up to Gaston, the greatest hunter in France, to track the beast back to his hidden fortress and rescue Belle before it’s too late. In a race against time and evil, sometimes street smarts are better than book smarts.

Richard White is


Belle always wanted a gentleman. What she got instead was a hero.

My friend Larry turned my Jurassic Park / Dennis Nedry post into a trailer. Watch the bejeebus out of it.

Jurassic Park

Dennis Nedry is a down on his luck computer programmer who just can’t get any respect. His struggles with weight and night blindness have made him the subject of ridicule to his coworkers, and his pleas for a raise fall on the callous, deaf ears of an egoistical billionaire employer who is more concerned with feeding his grandchildren thousand-dollar spreads of cake and ice cream than keeping Dennis from sleeping on the streets.

Enter Lewis Dodgson, a smartly dressed corporate maverick with a devil-may-care grin and a scheme that’s just so crazy it might actually work. Now, loveable loser Dennis Nedry has one chance to change his life forever. It’s a one in a million shot, but Dennis is a one in a million kind of guy.

Wayne Knight in

18 Minutes

If you could change your whole life in just one night… would you do it?